Cleaning out the closet

While on vacation this week, I gave myself one task: Clean out my closet and get rid of my "fat" clothes.

I tackled that feat today and what a feat it was.

I was definitely in the right mind set to let go of these trivial pieces of clothing, those items that I had attached certain memories and moments to. I was ready to put these items in a storage tote and save them for a future garage sale.

A 45-gallon storage tote is now overflowing in our spare bedroom and approximately 75 empty hangers have taken up residency in my closet, waiting for new clothes to drape over them.

In the deep recesses of that closet, I discovered a few things: A wedding dress which is filthy from never getting it dry cleaned 12 years earlier and a fancy black pant suit with beads which I wore as the matron of honor at my best friend's wedding. I pulled the dress out of its makeshift garment protector (also known as a black garbage bag tied in a knot at the bottom) and inspected it. Minus the stains of make-up and dirt, it looked the same as it did 12 years ago when I put it on and married my husband. I thought to myself, "What the heck?" and put it on. Slipping it over my head I wondered how this was doing to turn out. I was anxious as it dropped down over my head, past my stomach and butt, down my legs and to my feet. I reached around and began to zip up the dress. Not only did that not-so-white anymore dress fit me, but I actually had some room to spare!

I surprised myself by not crying but by dancing around instead. My husband was in the bathroom and I whipped open the door and stood there proudly in my wedding gown. Todd said, "Holy crap! You're in your wedding dress. How does that make you feel?" I said, "It feels pretty dang good!"

I made a few calls to some friends and my sister as I was so proud of this accomplishment. It felt good to know that the size I am now is about the size I was when I married Todd. Todd fell in love with a plus-sized woman; he's never known me with any other shape. It made me feel good to know I basically "looked" like I did when we exchanged our vows that day in May in 1997.

The next task was trying on that black pant suit of mine. Apparently that suit held more importance to me than my wedding gown as the pant suit was in an actual garment bag. I pulled it out of the bag and proceeded to put it on. I was on the phone with my best friend at the time as I had called to tell her I tried on my wedding dress. I told her I'd just keep her on the phone while I tried this other outfit on. I put the jacket on over my nightgown and of course, it fit. I took that off and tried the beaded tank top. That also fit over my nightgown. The true test was going to be the pants and I told Patty so. She said, "I remember you telling me on my wedding day that you were concerned about bending over in those pants as you were worried they might split." We laughed about that as I took the pants off the hanger. I held them up and said, "Oh my gosh!" I couldn't believe how LARGE they were. I couldn't help but think about how I felt wearing them that day for Patty's wedding and the feeling of fear I had if I had to bend over. I told Patty to hang on as I put one foot and then the other into the pant legs. As I pulled them up and over my stomach and butt, I was utterly shocked! I sucked in a huge breath and clasped my hand over my mouth.

Patty knew from my silence what was happening. Without even hearing a sound come out of my mouth, she said ever so gently, "It's OK, Honey, let it all out." That's all it took. I burst into tears. You see, I was standing there, holding onto the waist band of these black rayon and polyester dress pants because otherwise they would have fallen off of my body. The elastic on those pants wasn't even stretched. I was literally swimming in these pants that nearly eight years ago I was concerned I would bust out of.

Talk about a "come to Jesus" moment!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for your grace and mercy which has led me to this very moment in my journey. All glory goes to Him! Amen.

20 weeks and 58 pounds

In just five short months (or 20 weeks), I'm now down a total of 58.8 pounds! It's almost too much for me to wrap my head around.

I lost another six pounds after three weeks. It was my first single digit weight loss and I must admit, I felt a small tinge of disappointment and then I came to my senses! Seriously, six pounds in three weeks is still two pounds a week! That's freakin' fantastic! I am very proud of myself and all that I've accomplished thus far.

I'm going to keep pluggin' away.

And my next big task?

Cleaning out my closet and throwing away my fat clothes!

Stay tuned!