Girls weekend

I attended a girls' get together this past weekend with six friends from high school.

It was interesting to say the least.

I hadn't seen some of these girls for months so I was quite excited to see their reactions to my weight loss (42 pounds to date).

Well, maybe I had too high of expectations as not one of them said a word.

Two of the six girls last saw me a month ago so they were well aware of my weight loss and how my looks were changing (sort of). One girl I saw in June. Two in February and one last November so for sure, I was expecting some reaction from them. The last three had no knowledge I was even losing weight.

They all came in at separate times but I got no reaction. Nothing.

Needless to say, I was disappointed.

Another friend of mine was certain these other friends were going to freak out when they saw me so on Sunday evening when I talked to her, she was so excited to hear what my other friends had said. So, when I told her that no one said anything, she was the one who freaked out! She could not believe that none of them had said anything. She said that even if she had no knowledge of my weight loss efforts, she would be able to tell. Maybe it's because I see her more often?

When I finally "outed" myself to my friends about my dieting efforts, they were happy for me but still no major reactions. I'm not sure what I was expecting from them. I mean, I didn't think anyone would do cartwheels for me but I thought maybe an "Oh my gosh!" exclamation and maybe a hug? But nope. Nothing.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not going to let this get me down. No way! I've come to far to let something so trivial as this affect my journey.

But it's interesting to me that while some of my friends who I see more often go on and on about how great I look, these girls said nothing. I began to wonder if maybe it's because they just see me for who I am. I mean, I'm still overweight so I'm the overweight friend. I don't mean that they think bad of me being overweight but just that it's who I am to them.

I might still be overweight but if this weekend taught me anything at all, it's that this weight I carry does not define me as a person. I am still me under these layers but as I shed them, I am becoming someone else.

Not someone better.

Just someone different.

Don't worry! Be happy!

I was supposed to weigh-in on Aug. 20 but it got reschedule for Aug. 13.

I was so worried about it and told my doctor so.

I hadn't worked out in the last three weeks. At all.

I stepped onto the scale and she said, "Pfft. I don't know what you were worried about. You lost another 13.2 pounds."

I am officially down 42 pounds in just 12 weeks!

That is absolutely insane!

And I am absolutely proud.

Worried

I have to admit I'm worried about my next weigh in which will be next Tuesday.

I just feel like I haven't lost as much in this last month. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope so. I haven't been working out as much as I should be but it's been so busy and I just haven't made it a priority this past month.

I have to do better next month regardless of what the scale says.

But I hope the scale says I'm down at least five more pounds but really, I guess I'll take any loss I can get.

A loss is a loss.

I'm not a 10, I'm an 11!

Ok, so, not really.

11 has been added to 18 as that's how much weight I've lost since beginning my weight loss journey.

I'm down 29 pounds in just eight short weeks. I almost can't believe it.

Literally speaking, how does one lose weight? Where does it go? Does someone else find it and they get it? If that's the case, I feel bad for the poor chick who's gonna get my 29 pounds! Bummer!

Anyway you look at it, it's gone.

Forever.

Another "huh" moment

So, I got my hair cut tonight and my friend Tina (who is also my hairstylist) said to me, "I just have to tell you this."

I said, "Ok," wondering what she could possibly have to tell me before cutting my hair.

Well, needless to say, she pointed out that normally when she cut my hair she would snap the cape on the last snap because my neck was fat. Tonight, she moved it in one snap and actually proved to me she could snap it at the next one too but it was just too tight.

It was just one of those weird, little moments that made me go, "Huh."

I guess it's good to know I've apparently lost the 18 pounds in my neck. Super. My pants will fit so much better now.

Not!

I'm not that size.....

So, I met my best friend, Patty, at Super Wal-mart in Little Falls yesterday.

She was looking for a new swimsuit and I wasn't.

Anyway, we were in "fat girls" section and she was looking at these cute shirts. I thought for fun I would try a couple on. I hadn't done that in a really long time. I grabbed a turquoise shirt in the biggest size they had. I grabbed a pretty orange shirt as well.

We went into the dressing rooms and began trying on our choices. I put the turquoise one on first and really liked it and it fit. I was very excited. Even though it was a 26/28, I was thrilled.

I put the orange shirt on. Patty wanted to see it. She took one look at me and said, "It's too big." I said, "No it's not." She said, "Go and try the next size on." I said, "I'm not that size." (meaning a 22/24) She said, "Just go get a different one and try it on."

I have to admit I was exhilarated and scared all at the same time. I know...over a shirt. Kind of silly, right? Well, the possibility of this shirt being too big and this new shirt fitting me was almost too much to comprehend. I went and grabbed the 22/24 and went back in the fitting room. I put it on and believe it or not, it fit! Patty was waiting at the door. I opened the door and she said, "That looks great!" I could hardly wrap my head around the fact that I was wearing this shirt in such a "small" size. Keep in mind that to me, this was a HUGE accomplishment! You could open my closet right now and NOT find anything in a 22/24.

Patty reminded me that I see flaws in myself that others don't see. That helped me realize that I need to start retraining my brain. She told me that she wouldn't let me walk around in something that made me look horrible.

I bought it.

And it felt good.

Work out

Today completed my first full five days of working out. It's only been 15 minutes every morning but I'm proud of myself that I stuck to it. I'll be back at it on Monday but I think I'll do another week of 15 minutes and see how I feel after next week.

My trainer's name is Maya....she's on Wii....which is the coolest thing ever. She even encourages me and tells me to keep working and moving. I almost don't even want to punch her in her fake avatar face! LOL

All in all, I'm proud of myself. It's a journey and I think I'm well on my way.