Oops I did it again!

I knew it would happen.

I am pregnant after all.

I weighed in yesterday and gained another 7 pounds. That makes a total of 15...not too bad considering I'm 6 months pregnant. It sure helped that I lost 21 pounds in the beginning of my pregnancy.

I know that whatever I end up gaining as a whole will come off again plus some. I have no doubts about that. I've finally found something that works and I'll get right back on the "diet horse" after the baby is born.

I was successful before. And I'll have success again.

And the bonus? I'll have a beautiful baby girl as my "reward."

It finally happened....

I stepped on the scale Monday morning and there it was.

The dreaded gain. And nearly 8 pounds at that!

But you know? I'm OK with it. I would have been extremely shocked to see a loss since I didn't eat very well the last month. Because of my pregnancy, instead of morning sickness, I've had food aversion. It hasn't been fun. Nothing that sounds even remotely "good" for me sounds good enough to eat.

Chicken? Yuck. A burger? Not so much. Pasta? No way! It's the strangest thing.

Also, it was discovered Monday after having an MRI, that I have a pinched nerve in my lower back which is affecting my hip/back/leg. That has not been fun either!

So, what happens when you add crappy food to the mix of limited mobility and activity?

You get eight pounds of unwanted gain.

But, the baby is healthy and for now, that's what matters.

Flashback to the 80s?

Nope. It's no flashback, baby! It's a flash forward to now because after eight months, I'm down 80 pounds! Can I get a woop woop?

I weighed in again yesterday and lost another 6 pounds even through the holidays! I'm pretty impressed because I honestly didn't think I'd have a loss at all. In fact, I worried about a gain. The Christmas goodies were everywhere. Every time I turned around, someone was bringing in a plate of treats from home. I cursed each of my co-workers under my breath (OK...so maybe I complained straight to their faces!) and I know it wasn't their fault. They didn't want the goodies crowding their kitchen countertops any more than I wanted those goodies taking up space at the nearest empty desk at work!

I enjoyed all of my mother's yummy treats she sent home with us along with homemade fudge, peanut butter balls and brownie-like cookies with a powdered sugar coating (those were my fave) and all the while, I still managed to lose 6 pounds.

Dang. I'm good.

Almost nine gallons of milk?

Oh, you thought this was my weight loss blog you were reading and not some bizarre grocery list?

You're at the right place. It's just that according to one of my Facebook friends, my current weight loss number is the equivalent of nearly nine gallons of milk!

I'm down another 11 pounds for a grand total of 74 pounds since starting this journey on May 20, 2009.

I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale and saw the number. In fact, I told the nurse to shut up. I know. Completely rude of me. Totally didn't mean to say that but I was in such shock...it just kind of came out. The shock was so much that I actually stepped off the scale just to step back on! Who does that? Uh. Not me!

Another amazing number is 26...which would put me at 100 pounds lost. I can barely wrap my head around that. And even if I tell myself to do it in a year, I have five more months to do it in. I think I can manage that.

I'm definitely going to try.

Four more down

I had another weigh in. I'm now down 63.3 pounds in six months.

I know now I have to amp it up and do more exercise and pay close attention to what I put in my mouth. I want some more BIG numbers. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I lost four, especially since it was around Halloween and all. I did partake in a little Halloween candy, you know!

On a side note, I did wear a sweater to work this week that I wore 18 years ago in one of my graduation pictures! So that was exciting for sure. And I got a lot of great compliments this week as well. I am blessed for sure.

So, here's to more exercise and even better food choices!

Compliments...they do a body good!

I have another weigh-in tomorrow.

Am I nervous? Absolutely.

Do I think I lost anything? If the comments I've received in the last few weeks are any indication of a loss, then, yes I have!

I've done something differently in the last month. I haven't written in my food journal. I was curious to see if I'd done it long enough now that I didn't have to continue. If I don't have the results I want at my weigh-in, then I know I'll have to make the necessary changes. But journaling got to be so redundant. I wondered if it was really making a difference this far along in the game. We'll see where that leads me. It very well could lead me right back to my food journal. And I'm OK with that.

I've done a bit more activity this last month but still nothing consistent. I don't know what the answer is going to be for that. It seems every time I have good intentions to do more, life gets in the way and the exercise doesn't fit in. I know it's all about choices. I just have to learn to choose differently and that's hard. A lifetime of bad habits still doesn't change even after six months. Well, I guess I still have to have struggles to keep me grounded. If I didn't, this weight loss thing would have happened a long time ago, right?

As I mentioned, I've received many compliments in the last few weeks. What a confidence booster those are!

My husband grabbed me for a hug a few weeks ago and said, "Holy crap!" I couldn't figure out why he would say that while hugging me. "What was that for?" I asked him. He said, "Before, when I used to hug you, I could only clasp my fingers together while my arms were around you. Now, I can do this." And he illustrated by showing me that he could grab his own wrists and hug me. He said it seemed like he was squishing me but I explained that wasn't the case! LOL

Yesterday, a co-worker asked how much more I'm down. I told her I wouldn't know until Thursday. She said she could definitely tell that I'd lost more because looking at a side profile, I looked flat. It's hard to describe but I totally understood what she meant.

Another gentleman at church on Sunday asked if he could ask me a question and hoped I wouldn't think he was nosy. I said I wouldn't think that. He wanted to know if I had lost something or some things. I couldn't help but smile. When I told him I was currently down 58 pounds, he was shocked and upset at himself that it took him this long to "notice." I told him there was no need to apologize. Even though the compliment was delayed, it was super nice to hear anyway!

I finally changed my profile picture on Facebook. I had several people tell me I no longer looked like my other picture, that my face was much thinner. So, after like five tries, my husband finally captured a shot of me that I approved of. I barely had the pictured uploaded and friends were posting comments about it. Again, really nice to hear!

So, even if the scale doesn't give me a number I like tomorrow, I will remember all of these great compliments and use those to fuel myself for the next month when I face the scale once again.

Cleaning out the closet

While on vacation this week, I gave myself one task: Clean out my closet and get rid of my "fat" clothes.

I tackled that feat today and what a feat it was.

I was definitely in the right mind set to let go of these trivial pieces of clothing, those items that I had attached certain memories and moments to. I was ready to put these items in a storage tote and save them for a future garage sale.

A 45-gallon storage tote is now overflowing in our spare bedroom and approximately 75 empty hangers have taken up residency in my closet, waiting for new clothes to drape over them.

In the deep recesses of that closet, I discovered a few things: A wedding dress which is filthy from never getting it dry cleaned 12 years earlier and a fancy black pant suit with beads which I wore as the matron of honor at my best friend's wedding. I pulled the dress out of its makeshift garment protector (also known as a black garbage bag tied in a knot at the bottom) and inspected it. Minus the stains of make-up and dirt, it looked the same as it did 12 years ago when I put it on and married my husband. I thought to myself, "What the heck?" and put it on. Slipping it over my head I wondered how this was doing to turn out. I was anxious as it dropped down over my head, past my stomach and butt, down my legs and to my feet. I reached around and began to zip up the dress. Not only did that not-so-white anymore dress fit me, but I actually had some room to spare!

I surprised myself by not crying but by dancing around instead. My husband was in the bathroom and I whipped open the door and stood there proudly in my wedding gown. Todd said, "Holy crap! You're in your wedding dress. How does that make you feel?" I said, "It feels pretty dang good!"

I made a few calls to some friends and my sister as I was so proud of this accomplishment. It felt good to know that the size I am now is about the size I was when I married Todd. Todd fell in love with a plus-sized woman; he's never known me with any other shape. It made me feel good to know I basically "looked" like I did when we exchanged our vows that day in May in 1997.

The next task was trying on that black pant suit of mine. Apparently that suit held more importance to me than my wedding gown as the pant suit was in an actual garment bag. I pulled it out of the bag and proceeded to put it on. I was on the phone with my best friend at the time as I had called to tell her I tried on my wedding dress. I told her I'd just keep her on the phone while I tried this other outfit on. I put the jacket on over my nightgown and of course, it fit. I took that off and tried the beaded tank top. That also fit over my nightgown. The true test was going to be the pants and I told Patty so. She said, "I remember you telling me on my wedding day that you were concerned about bending over in those pants as you were worried they might split." We laughed about that as I took the pants off the hanger. I held them up and said, "Oh my gosh!" I couldn't believe how LARGE they were. I couldn't help but think about how I felt wearing them that day for Patty's wedding and the feeling of fear I had if I had to bend over. I told Patty to hang on as I put one foot and then the other into the pant legs. As I pulled them up and over my stomach and butt, I was utterly shocked! I sucked in a huge breath and clasped my hand over my mouth.

Patty knew from my silence what was happening. Without even hearing a sound come out of my mouth, she said ever so gently, "It's OK, Honey, let it all out." That's all it took. I burst into tears. You see, I was standing there, holding onto the waist band of these black rayon and polyester dress pants because otherwise they would have fallen off of my body. The elastic on those pants wasn't even stretched. I was literally swimming in these pants that nearly eight years ago I was concerned I would bust out of.

Talk about a "come to Jesus" moment!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for your grace and mercy which has led me to this very moment in my journey. All glory goes to Him! Amen.